I was doing 60 mph in a 55 mph zone when I passed a patrol car going the opposite way, and said: Oh crap, I hope he doesn’t turn around.

All the kids turned their heads to look, and sure enough, the patrol car turned around, and headed back toward us. The kids yelled: He’s turning around!

Dave: He’d better hurry or he won’t see which way I’m turning and he’ll have to guess (as I made a left onto 54 toward Bloomfield). He’ll have a 50-50 chance.

The kids kept watching and we couldn’t see him and Dillan said: I think you got lucky.

Dave: I guess so.

About the time I hit Ridgeport, the kids yelled: There he is! He’s coming to get you!

Dave: Are you sure?

Kids: We’re sure!

Dillan: He’s coming real fast.

Dave: Well, he doesn’t have his lights on yet, maybe he’s just running my plates.

Dillan: What does running your plates mean?

Dave: He can check if I’m a bad guy and see when I got other tickets, and stuff like that.

Dillan: Whens the last time you got in trouble for driving too fast?

Dave: In 2000 – like 19 years ago.

Dwyane: He’s going to get you for sure.

Dave: Are you sure? Maybe he’s after you kids.

Ashley: We don’t know how to drive. Why would he want us?

Dave: I don’t know. Maybe you’ve been doing stuff and not letting us know?

Bruce: What stuff?

Dave: Maybe you’ve been robbing banks?!

Dillan: But we don’t know no banks! Or how to rob them!

Dave: Yeah, likely story. All bad guys say they didn’t do it.

Ashley: But we’re in school and daycare. How could we rob banks?

Dave: Maybe you’re part of a gang. Maybe the Jessica Smith gang. Maybe when she picks you up from school, she drives you to a bank where you guys can rob it, and then get back in the van for your getaway, and go to daycare and split up the loot.

Dillan: No! Bruce would be bringing money home and putting it his piggy bank if we did that! And Bruce doesn’t have any money in his piggy bank!

Dave: You can tell it to the cops!

Dwyane, looking behind us: He’s gone! Where’d he go?

Dave: He turned off way back there. Guess he was looking for someone else.

Ashley: Daddy! You was kidding us!

Bruce: Daddy’s a liar!

Dillan: Whew! I was a little worried.

Dave: Why, thought you were going to get caught?

Dwyane: Daddy, we’re just kids, not robbers!

Dave: Okay, okay. I guess I believe you, but I’ll go the speed limit next time so I don’t draw attention to you.

Ashley: Daddy!